Cancer Can Wreak Havoc On Relationships — This Is What We DoAngela Banker
Cancer can be very trying on any relationship. While one is suffering through the effects of cancer treatments, the other is left to take on a caregiver role. The new role may include driving to doctor appointments, cleaning up around the house, and seeing to every need of the children. It’s very hard to be the primary caregiver to both your spouse and children at the same time. Energy levels dwindle as the stress increases. However, that caregiver will continue on for the love of their life; they’d do anything to support them.
Although cancer can be trying, it can also bring a relationship closer. The bond two people have for each other after such an ordeal is often stronger. The love seems to be unbreakable. This may not be true for every relationship, but it is for mine.
My husband and I have been thrown multiple curveballs during our marriage – cancer being at the top of the list. Relationships take work, and when those curveballs come our way, it takes more work. Between parenting and working, we found we weren’t spending the needed time on us as we should have been. We started date nights to do just that; a time where we could be husband and wife, not dad and mom.
We love our time as a family unit. Always have, always will. Yet we know that it’s crucial for the two of us to venture out into the world away from the family. Just as it’s crucial for us to make sure we have the much needed family time.
A quick internet search will bring up articles on how important it is to spend “together” time with your spouse. Some may say to spend one night a week working on your relationship as others say it’s necessary to spend at least once a month together. Those articles will quote couples, therapists, and statistics. It all points to the same conclusion; date nights bring you closer, makes you connect on a deeper level, and can strengthen the commitment with one another. There is no one-size-fits-all formula for working on a relationship. It’s up to you to find what works best for you.
It’s hard with our busy family schedules to make date night work once a week, that’s why we make sure we head out at least once a month – just the two of us. We know these dates help strengthen our marriage. Cancer has put us through a lot, but so has life in general. We’ve come out on the other side only stronger, yet we still want to grow as a couple. These nights away from the family are imperative not only for our relationship, but also for our mental health. Just a few hours out of the house brings smiles all around.
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