Feeling Attractive After Cancer: 5 Surprising Pieces of Advice from Strangers

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Reddit user thrwy46throwaway is a 45-year-old woman and a breast cancer survivor who has had a single mastectomy. Her current implant is a different size and shape than her remaining breast, and she struggles with feeling that she’s no longer attractive.

“I wonder how my husband can possibly be into me,” she says. Thrway46throwaway has been married to her husband for a decade, but things have simply changed now that she’s older and has gone through childbirth and breast cancer. “There is absolutely no way we are getting divorced,” she says, “so I need to make the best of what I have.” But she’s seen signs she thinks may indicate that her husband doesn’t find her as desirable anymore as he once did.

“I guess I need some encouragement and advice,” she says, “and maybe it will help just to put all that out there. Thanks!”

Luckily, Reddit was able to come to the rescue yet again. Several Reddit users have jumped in to make powerful remarks about what beauty and love really mean, and their responses are definitely worth a read. Check them out below.

(NOTE: Some comments have been edited for length, readability, or profanity.)


5. Just ask.

“You never know what he thinks until you ask. Listen to what he says rather than trying too much at reading into how you think he’d feel. Some men might not care about those things. Some men might actually like some of that in itself.” —Reddit user NoNoItsTotallyNormal

4. Strength is beauty.

“I’m a 35-year-old male, and I’ve always found that someone that can beat cancer is such a strong person, and that adds so much to their attraction. I’ve seen pictures of breast cancer survivors without their shirts on, and I find it enormously attractive and epically beautiful. My advice to you, take it or leave it, is to not be so insecure about it and embrace the new strong woman you are.” —Reddit user punklife81

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Elizabeth Nelson is a wordsmith, an alumna of Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, a four-leaf-clover finder, and a grammar connoisseur. She has lived in west Michigan since age four but loves to travel to new (and old) places. In her free time, she. . . wait, what’s free time?